Tuesday, 30 August 2016

Tuesday's Reviews - Sisters (2015)

I have to be honest with you, I wasn't expecting to be reviewing this film this week. It was a last minute watch so I could find something to talk about. I was supposed to go and see David Brent: Life on the Road with some guys at work but they proved to be too unreliable. I'm not sure if I'm happy or sad about this. From what I've heard it's good but, obviously, nothing compared to The Office. I'm sure it'll be funnier than Gervais' last outing Special Correspondents but how easy will it be to slip back into David Brent. To be honest, once The Office finished I was done with Brent. I didn't watch the shitty Learn Guitar series that he released on YouTube a few years ago because it just felt to desperate. Maybe that was just me? I love Gervais but he really believes that everything he does is the best example of comedy. If there's one thing he last experiences in Hollywood have taught us, it's that Gervais isn't suited to every format. Just like the pair of funny women heading up the film at the heart of this review. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have not always been as funny on the big screen as they have been known to be on television. Now I'm not saying they've had fuck loads of major disasters but the films they star in tend to be forgettable ones. I had no real expectations for Sisters except that I was going to freak out whenever Kate McKinnon was on screen.

Sunday, 28 August 2016


I've been back at work this week after my weeks holiday and its been dreadful. Everyone is ill so I've come down with a cold. I'm aching and exhausted because I spent a week doing fuck all. I haven't been reading anything and my Instagram game is going downhill. It's just been a dreadful time and I need to sort out my priorities again. I've gotten so fucking lazy in the wake of 5am starts. Turns out I, like the rest of humanity, really do need sleep to function properly. Next week I'll be in bed in good time and reading at least a chapter before I turn in. Well, it's a lovely dream, isn't it...

Wednesday, 24 August 2016

TBT - Finding Nemo (2003)

The thing I never get about grown-up Disney fans is the obsession with the Princesses. As a 28 year old who has a room filled with toys and a wardrobe full of clothes covered in pop culture references, I worry about all of the people that walk around covered in garish depictions of the royal women of Disney. I don't really think I've ever been as enamoured with the Princess ones as I have with the animal ones. Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White are all well and good but I didn't give a shit about finding Prince Charming pr having the big fancy wedding. I loved The Fox and the Hound and 101 Dalmatians because I really love dogs. I didn't want to be Aurora: I wanted to be Simba. I guess, when it comes down to it, animated films are better suited to non-human characters because it is able to give a voice to those without a voice. I realise that live action films about animals do exist but there is something so creepy about it. I mean Babe is a great film but talk about the uncanny.

Tuesday, 23 August 2016

Tuesday's Reviews - Finding Dory (2016)

Pixar have established themselves as the greatest animation studio in Hollywood right now. They are beloved by critics and audiences alike but they have never been able to harness they talent to become consistent. One moment they release a showstopping film like Inside Out and the next they're offering the forgettable Good Dinosaur. For every Toy Story 3 there is a Brave to follow. Pixar have managed to create some of the greatest animated films of all time but they have also been responsible for some truly shitty ones. Plus, they don't really have a great track record with sequels. They constantly churn out follow-ups to their big films but they have generally had trouble meeting the expectations set by the first. There is the odd occasion in which the second film will be better , Toy Story 2, but for every success there is a Cars 2. So the announcement back in 2012 that there would be a sequel to the fucking awesome Finding Nemo it was a bit of a double-edged sword. On the one hand, we all wanted to see what was happening to our favourite characters yet we didn't want our love of the original to be put in jeopardy thanks to an underwhelming sequel. I guess that fear is the main reason it took me so bloody long to get round to seeing it.

Sunday, 21 August 2016


So it's the day after my sister got married and I'm fucking exhausted. All I can think about it sleeping for a day. The last few days have been incredibly unhealthy and I need to get back into my healthier routine and start doing some exercise again. I also need to try and curb my spending for this week because wedding are fucking expensive. Still, the week off I took in preparation has proved to be useful in terms of getting shit done bookwise. I finished the book I started just over a week ago, which is better than I'd expected. There was probably some sort of bridesmaid duties I should have been doing instead but it all turned out fine in the end. My plan now the wedding is over is to hide away in my room with my books and make sure nobody takes my picture again. For someone as unphotogenic as me (seriously that's not me being coy or modest, I seriously don't photograph well) it's been a hellish couple of days. I'm dreading any pictures of me making their way onto Facebook. All those photos are just another reason to never get married I suppose.

Thursday, 18 August 2016

TBT - Starsky & Hutch (2004)

My sister's wedding is getting ever closer so I'm not exactly focused on the blog this week. There's a lot of sorting, cleaning and final mad panic buys going on round here that I've been a bit lazy with my selections this week. High-Rise was something I've had on my list for ages and I watched it when I had a spare evening. My pick for today had even less thought behind it. Netflix suggested it to me last weekend and, as it's been such a fucking age since I saw it, didn't hesitate. Now, every week I try and get my Tuesday and Thursday posts to match up in some way: that might be by actor, genre or director but, as is usually the case, it's based on whatever flimsy connection I can create. This weeks connection is the 1970s. Both of this week's films are set in the 70s and that was enough of a connection to prevent me madly searching for a film set in a tower block or just watching the 90s adaptation of Crash. Neither of those things fit into my schedule or filled me with a massive amount of desire. So here we have it. A random film that you'll probably all have watched many many times. It almost doesn't seem worth bothering but when have I ever been known to listen to common sense?

Tuesday, 16 August 2016

Tuesday's Reviews - High-Rise (2015)

I can't deny that I've been super bad this year at getting round to all of the films that I wanted to see. I had plans to watch Ben Wheatley's adaptation of J. G. Ballard's 1975 dystopian novel but, thanks to my flaky friends, I never managed to see it at the cinema. Then, because I continue to be useless at life, I have only just got round to it. Still, that's something to celebrate, right? So I decided, in lieu of any current release to talk about today, I'd give my opinion of a film that almost convinced my that Tom Hiddleston could be an okay Bond. Although, I remain unconvinced and will forever dream of a world in which Idris Elba doesn't feel too old to take the name over. However, there is no denying that Hiddleston absolutely dominates in this role. As he does in basically all of them at this point.

Sunday, 14 August 2016


It's just under a week until my older sister gets married so my whole life seems consumed with wedding fever at the moment. I've helped make centre pieces and decorations. I'm trying to keep my parents stress free whilst constantly worrying that my dress won't fit and having nervous breakdowns about the sheer volume of photos I'll be required to appear in. I'm sure it'll be a lovely day but I'm taking the week off so I can spend the coming few days hiding from every potential source of stress. I've already spent most of today in bed and getting further into my current read. I'd say that the amount of time I've spent napping is nothing more than disgusting but I'm off work for a week. I deserve this.   

Thursday, 11 August 2016

TBT - Hook (1991)

My twin sister and I really loved Hook when we were younger. It's a really good children's film that we found utterly hilarious. I mean, if I'm honest, it was mainly down to the fat kid and his weird dancing but it's something. We rewatched that film as often as we could and I'm certain we would quote along with it. We must have really worn out the ribbon on the VHS copy we owned. Jesus, that statement makes me feel fucking old. Something else that made me feel old was finding out that Hook turns 25 this week. Has anyone else seen that picture of the Lost Boys as they are now? God dammit, those Lost Boys really grew up. Still, it provided the perfect chance to talk about it for TBT. I always enjoy the chance to revisits a classic from my childhood. The fact that it also marks the 2nd anniversary of Robin William's death is just fate.

Tuesday, 9 August 2016

Tuesday's Reviews - The Woman Next Door by Yewande Omotoso

Those of you reading my latest Sunday rundown will know that I planned to upload this book review last week but The Cursed Child came along and ruined my plan. So I had to shelve my plans until now but I'm sure it'll be worth the wait. The Woman Next Door first came to my attention thanks to Instagram and it sat on myself for weeks before I finally opened the pages. Then, as you'll again see from my rundowns, it took me bloody ages to get the thing finished because of this fucking awful reading slump I've been in. However, it eventually happened and I have to say it's the most I've enjoyed a book for ages. I didn't really have the sneaky feeling that I was finishing it for the sake of it that I've felt with a lot of my previous reads. As such, I decided it warranted more than a simple breakdown on Sunday. I've always said I'd recommend this book to anyone so I figured it was time I did just that.

Sunday, 7 August 2016


This week feels like a victory because not only have I finished 1 book but I finished a second only a day after finishing the first one. Of course, since then I've done barely any reading but we can gloss over that. It hasn't helped that all of my shifts got changed this week and I've had over a week of 7am starts. It's really fucking with my sleep patterns and I'm finding myself going to bed at Grandma standard times. I can't even make it through a whole chapter of a fucking children's book before my eyes start to droop. Is it too much to ask that I find a job will more sociable hours? Oh, and one that won't continually scar me and fuck up my nails and skin. As you can tell, I'm so tired that I'm in an extra ranty mood. I've been a joy to work with.

Thursday, 4 August 2016

TBT - Matilda (1996)

I'm starting to get insanely jealous of everyone who tells me that they've seen Steven Spielbrg's The BFG. It looks fucking amazing and I really want to see it. When you think about it, Mark Rylance is an amazing choice to play the Big Friendly Giant. The world of Roald Dhal movie adaptations hasn't always been that great. The BFG animated film was beloved by many but looks set to be pushed back into the realms of familiar nostalgia now the live action version has been released. Wes Aderson's The Fantastic Mr Fox is a great film but has divided book fans. The two film versions of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory both have their positives and negatives. And there have been a fair share of dodgy ones, of course. I'm mostly referring to the abysmal The Witches. However, my absolute favourite is the utterly brilliant Matilda. I've loved this film since I was 8 years old and will never tire of it. I'd definitely be bold enough to say that it is the best Roald Dhal adaptation that there will ever be. Although, it does make me feel super old that it celebrated it's 20th anniversary this week. Where did my youth go?

Wednesday, 3 August 2016

Top 10 Wen-sday: Top 10 Harry Potter Characters

Yesterday I wrote my review of The Cursed Child and expressed my disappointment that the characters didn't sound the way I was used to. That's always the problem when another writer tries to put words in the mouth of another person's creations. JK Rowling put a lot of work into her characters and really made them people we, the readers, wanted to return to time and again. When it comes to the characters of the series I've never really followed the opinion of most readers about who is the stand-out. I can't say that I ever really got on board with the character of Harry because he was always too whiny and self-important. In fact I've always maintained that Harry was the worst member of the Harry Potter universe. I understand that he's important as fuck to he proceedings but I could have done without him. Plus, I don't get this whole Dumbledore is amazing thing. He says some memorable things but all of his actions are super questionable and shady. He's the worst headmaster imaginable and his relationship with Harry is just weird and inappropriate. I don't care how many soundbites the guy has, it doesn't make him fucking Ghandi. As for the other major fan favourite? Well, I think I've made my feelings about Severus Snape pretty fucking clear by now. So, this Top Ten Wen-sday I felt it was time I made it clear who really matters to me in these books. It's about bloody time. And, despite what I said about my fantasy fictional husbands, neither Oliver Wood nor Charlie Weasley appear on this list.

Tuesday, 2 August 2016

Tuesday's reviews - Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

So, the Sunday that has just gone happened to be 31st July, which is a big day for Harry Potter fans. It is JK Rowling's birthday and, subsequently, the fictional birthday of the boy wizard, Harry Potter, himself. As I'm sure there is no need to mention, the final day of July 2016 also happened to be the release date of the rehearsal edition script for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. This is the critically acclaimed theatrical tale that has become the supposed 8th 'book' in the series. I wasn't sure if I would buy the script but, having such a small amount of self-control when it comes to books, I bought one on Monday and proceeded to read the majority of it that night. I started work at 7am this morning so I fucking regretted that decision as I was waking up today. Still, I finished it with just enough time to get my review out for today's Tuesday Reviews. As we've already established on this blog, I'm a pretty shitty Potterhead and can't promise I'll be positive as most about this book. Still, I doubt anyone is actually coming here for sound advice when they could have my mindless rants instead... with added spoilers of course.