Thursday, 31 December 2015

TBT - Sherlock: A Study in Pink

Today is New Year's Eve and people all around the world are excitedly waiting for the biggest event in the calendar. Yes, we are a few hours away from the Sherlock special. The first episode in almost a year, which is admittedly less time than we've been kept waiting in the past. An episode that take us back to the world of the books and places Tumblr's favourite Otter in Victorian England. It's an exciting concept and has allowed Martin Freeman to sport a much more impressive moustache than the last one. Now, I've not always been on board with Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss' modern Sherlock and still only really like a couple of episodes in seasons 1 and 2 and all of season 3. I just feel like they keep mixing up Arthur Conan Doyle with Doctor Who and it's really fucking annoying. I understand the logic: you want to persuade your already loyal Whovians to follow your new series so you make it so fucking familiar its like their watching the same show. It makes sense. It just doesn't always feel right to me. I know it's a modern interpretation but Sherlock is sometimes too quirky for my liking. I like my Holmes to be more stiff-upper-lipped than bouncy.

Monday, 28 December 2015

The Lobster (2015)

So it's been a week since I intended to post this and I've probably forgotten everything about the film. Well apart from the fact that I fucking loved it and haven't stopped recommending it to everyone. At the same time, I've just got a new laptop for Christmas and everything has shifted to the left slightly. Without meaning to sound big-headed, I'm fucking great at typing and this is throwing me off completely. I have't typed this slowly since I first used a fucking computer. So I warn you, there may be spelling mistakes and random symbols that shouldn't really be here. I blame my inability to accept change. So a badly written and ill-informed review. Who else is really fucking excited to see how this turns out?

Sunday, 27 December 2015


Just a quickie this week. Christmas has sort of taken over my life and work has been hell. I've not really had the time or inclination to do anything other than sleep. Plus, old friends are back, family are around and my entire fucking county seems to be covered in water. Reading, unfortunately, has had to take a bit of a back seat. Still, Christmas is a time of giving and a few people have given me good booky presents. Now I have my own Personal Library Kit I won't have to face the injustice of an unreturned book. My colleague has had my copy of The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August for months and I've long passed the point I can ask for it back. I hate this fucking shit. I should just stop lending my books to people. Although, now I have the kit that seems like a rather foolish thing to do. 

Thursday, 24 December 2015

TBT - Elf (2003)

So it's Christmas Eve and I'm full of festive cheer. I'm also fucking exhausted. I made the reckless decision to watch The Force Awakens last night despite having to start work at 6am. I've only been able to keep going thanks to my continued delight at how wonderful the whole thing turned out to be. Obviously I have a few gripes but The Force Awakens was the best present I could have hoped for. I admit it was a bit fucking stupid seeing it so close to Christmas. It would really have taken some of the joy out of the festive period if I was brooding with hatred for JJ Abrams. It would have taken something very special to lift me from that foul a mood. Thankfully, at this time of year there is always a feel good film on somewhere. I got home to the end of Finding Nemo and instantly forgot how much I hate all of our customers when Dory encouraged me to "just keep swimming".

Monday, 21 December 2015

Hermione Granger: The Next Racebender

I was all set to write a review of The Lobster today. I watched it yesterday and really enjoyed it. Then something happened and parts of the internet went crazy... supposedly. It was announced today that the actress playing Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter play, The Cursed Child is Swaziland-born actress Noma Dumezweni. Now I'm pretty pissed with myself for talking about this because the whole idea of doing an eighth installment as a stage show is fucking stupid. Not just because it's going against all those times Rowling said she was done with Potter but because it also means so many fans will miss out. However, the story has blown up on new sites with many journalists defending the decision to the naysayers. That, my friends, is the reason I've decided to break my silence. Not the defence itself: I couldn't care less who plays Hermione Granger because, in my opinion, nobody can be more annoying than Emma fucking Watson. No, I'm annoyed because is there really any need to defend it?

Sunday, 20 December 2015


So it's five days until Christmas and things are getting super stressful at work. Tensions are rising and people are arguing over really fucking trivial things. It's ridiculous. I'm managing a team of people ages 30-60 and they all act like fucking kids. It's meant that the last thing I feel like doing when I get home is read so, once again, this rundown is a pathetic review of my literary failings. On top of that, writing about all my new purchases is getting my super pumped to read everything on my TBR and I can't help but want to pick up every new book as soon as possible. I'm so fucking fickle when it comes to books. Fingers crossed 2016 is the year I get my shit together and work out how to concentrate on one book at a time. Until then, I'll just have a currently reading list that is exactly the same size as my TBR. 

Thursday, 17 December 2015

TBT - Jingle All The Way (1996)

Shopping at Christmas has to be the biggest pain in the arse. There are people everywhere and being around people isn't good for my sensibilities. I'm not ruthless enough for the December chaos. So I tend to try and avoid the physical act of shopping and do my purchasing online. That, of course, is fraught with it's own difficulties as the postal service takes a fucking age to get things here. I feel bad for postmen but why can't they give me things when I expect them? As well as being glad I don't work for Royal Mail, every year Christmas comes around makes me even happier that I'm not a parent. Fucking kids, eh. You spend a fuckload on a fake hoverboard and the bloody thing blows up.  Having to track down that year's 'It' toy just goes against my who shopping ethic. It's not something I want and having to fight people for it is something I don't have the inclination for.

Monday, 14 December 2015

Gift Ideas For Bookish Folks

So we're about 10 days away from Christmas and you'll probably be sick of people thinking they have the right to tell you what to buy. Luckily for you, my sense of self-importance is just as high as everyone else. What I essentially have for you here is a list of things I'm desperate for someone to buy me but, in order to fill some content, am going to claim it's a handy dandy guide to bookish gift giving. I'm shit at this time of the year. I get so jealous of buying great things for other people that I have to make it up to myself by spending loads of money. So if I really wanted this list could go on indefinitely. And that's just using Etsy alone. However, in the interest of keeping it short(ish) and sweet I've limited it to about 10. By the time you read this I'll probably own most if not all of the items listed. I'll also be in the corner holding my wallet and lamenting my poor use of money. Happy Holidays everybody.

Sunday, 13 December 2015


This week I've been on holiday from work. It was my intention to relax before the Christmas rush really starts and buy any remaining presents I needed. The reading side of my plans hasn't gone awfully well but I've done almost nailed the present side of things. I have to admit that I've probably bought more for myself than other people. You'll get a small glimpse into this further down the page. I'm so fucking selfish that as soon as I spend time looking for other people I find at least three things I "really need". I've also bought about 5 different Christmas party dresses (four of which went back) and a shitload of make-up that will eventually go to waste. Considering Christmas is one of my favourite times of year it doesn't half show me how terrible I am at life.

Thursday, 10 December 2015

TBT - The Holiday (2006)

As you all know by now one of my greatest loves is Christmas films. As a permanent child, I fucking love everything about Christmas and fall victim to the festive spirit in all forms. However, there is nothing that annoys me more than a cliched rom-com. So I'm a little bit torn when it comes to Christmas rom-com. Half of me hates everybody for being so bloody oblivious whilst the other half just get caught up in the festivities. Of course, there are some special cases that manage to be so fucking awful that I don't need to worry about potential warm and fuzzy feelings. You can take a look at my Top 10 Worst Christmas Films list for more details on some of these but I want to focus on a film that I get more resentful towards with every passing year. I'll be honest that has a lot to do with my annoyance at Jude Law's questionable acting talents but there is a lot to The Holiday that we should be opposing.

Monday, 7 December 2015

Goosebumps (2015)

It feels like fucking ages since my last old fashioned Monday film review. I've gotten so used to letting off steam in a rant every week that I've moved beyond the point of this blog at all. Change is all well and good obviously but this was my chance to play out my long dead desire to be a film critic. It's just a really sad fact that I don't get chance to see as many films at the moment. I need to catch up with things. It's always the way though: one thing starts going well whilst everything else suffers. Reading or films? Surely there are people out there who find the balance? Until I find the dream solution I'll count the victories where I can. Last month I managed to watch a film that I'd been excited about for a while. A film that summons up feelings of my childhood... although without the fear I experienced in those days.

Sunday, 6 December 2015


In good news I've only indulged in one new book this week. On the other hand, I've hardly been a great reader. I've felt like shit and have had an awful week at work. The last thing I wanted to do when getting home was read something complicated. So I've turned to really simple books that require no real effort to read. Although this is making me feel super fucking guilty. I recently watched John Green's guide to giving books for Christmas and I can't help but think that I've missed out of so many of the greats this year. Being more prominent on Instagram means I see people with Booker Prize nominees whilst I'm chilling out with some trashy thriller or the latest YA garbage. I don't think I'd recommend any of my last read books to anyone. So I've decided: 2016 will be the year of reading great books. 

Thursday, 3 December 2015

TBT - The Flint Street Nativity (1999)

On Monday I admitted to acting quite like a child. It's true. I still love all of the TV shows I grew up watching and the music I listened to as a teenager. I'm not sure that I'll ever reach a point where I don't need my parents to help me deal with banking and medical issues. A co-worker recently took the piss out of me when I admitted to owning my very own set of replica Pokemon gym badges. Apparently it makes me a little weird, childish and ridiculous. If you ask me it makes me super cool and someone to be jealous of. However, I can't deny that I'm hardly the most comfortable of adults and, outside of my job, will do anything I can to pretend I'm still a kid. Who needs that shit? I'll just stuff my fingers in my ears and pretend it's not happening.