Monday, 30 March 2015

The Duff (2015)

I know we've been here before, dear friends, but I love teen movies. It comes from a childhood of watching John Hughes films and wanting to be Ally Sheedy or Molly Ringwald. There is nothing like sitting down with a shitty teen film; mostly because they only last about 90 minutes and don't require any real thought. Although, now I'm inching ever closer to the big 3-0, I can't help but find teen movies to be too fucking egotistical. Most films I've seen think they are much better than they actually are and than their predecessors. Obviously there are some exceptions, like 2010's Easy A, but I'm just cold to most modern films in this genre. Particularly when the latest one, The Duff, opens with a declaration that The Breakfast Club (the King of all teen movies) is now irrelevant. You aren't winning any fucking points with that kind of talk.

Thursday, 26 March 2015

TBT - 'Rose': Doctor Who Series 1 Episode 1

Let me take you back to March 2006 and the birth of a whole new fandom. Well not a birth exactly but the widening of a pre-existing group. Yes, on this very day 10 years ago the BBC and Russell T. Davies brought back the much-loved 1960s science fiction show Dr Who. Christopher Eccleston took over the eponymous role and teen pop-star Billie Piper was cast as his assistant. I remember eagerly waiting the reboot: my parents were fans of classic Who and, as a child, I'd seen a fair few of the old episodes. I fucking loved it at the time and have continued to watch the series despite how much Steven Moffat has pissed me off lately. 'Rose' was the exciting new start to the Doctor's life that satisfied, most, old fans and created a whole new generation of Dr Who nutjobs. So how has it held up in the past decade?

Monday, 23 March 2015

Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

Girl on the Train must have had a pretty decent marketing campaign because, having no real idea about the book itself, I found myself really keen to read it. I'm sure I've seen a fuckload of instagram posts of girls on the train reading Girl on the Train. As someone who has always believed themselves to be above the psychological tactics of advertising, it made me fucking sad that it seemingly worked so easily. I don't even have a good track record with this type of novel. Regular readers will no doubt get bored by my continued disappointment with Gone Girl: I'll never finish it. Contemporary thrillers just don't seem very good anymore. I've always managed to work out the big twist a few chapters in. So either writers of thrillers are running out of ideas or I'm just too cynical to believe anything set before me. Of course, if the latter is true I've opened up the potential to follow the steps of my heroes Miss Marple, Jessica Fletcher and Dr Mark Sloane and become a retired crime fighter. If the crimes are anything like Paula Hawkins debut plot then I'll have no trouble.

Thursday, 19 March 2015

TBT - Horrible Bosses (2011)

I've made it to the end of the first week of my promotion and I'm fucking exhausted. Partly questioning my decision and definitely missing working only 4 out of 7 days a week. Also, facing the transition from being weekly paid to monthly paid (goodbye for now I can't complain about the job, I've basically been doing it for the past few months anyway, but I'm having some issues with one woman I'm working with. Unfortunately, she's my superior and a massive bitch. On my second day in the job I faced one of her regular tirades and barely made it out alive. She's a huge pain in the arse and I have to act like her biggest fucking fan just so I keep her happy. She's one of the biggest dicks I've ever met: you might go so far as to say she's a horrible boss! Ah ha, now this work-related tirade finally makes sense.

Monday, 16 March 2015

The Bees By Laline Paull‎

We're into the third month of the year and I'm still incredibly far behind my Penguinspiration target of 30. Although, I have just got through 2 more and am well on the way with a third so I might actually get there by 2017 or something. Recently, despite all my best efforts, I caved and bought a handful of the Penguin Little Black Classics because they cost 80 fucking pence each. They're all pretty tiny so I'm hoping I can cheat a little and count them as 1 each. Anyway, as I mentioned, I've just finished a couple of books and, with the announcement regarding the Baileys Women's Prize for Fiction longlist recently I was overjoyed to discover that one of the books was on it. I'm never this ahead of the times. I feel quite proud. So I thought I'd talk about it.

Thursday, 12 March 2015

TBT - Leprechaun in the Hood (2000)

Recently my inbox has been filled with emails concerning special green-based promotions taking place on various websites. This can only mean one thing: St Patrick's day is coming up. Yes, that one day of the year when everyone pretends to be Irish so they have an excuse to drink a fuck load is upon us again. The one night where people pretend to love Guinness despite the fact that it's a fucking meal in a glass. In honour of this special day this TBT is all about one of my favourite franchises of all time: the Leprechaun films. Admittedly, I've only seen the 3rd, 4th and 5th of the 6 but I can tell you its part of my bucket list to finish them one day. Hell, we've all got to have something to live for.

Monday, 9 March 2015

Yawn of the Dead

There's a rather annoying epidemic spreading its way through my place of work at the moment: The Walking Dead. Every single one of my colleagues is fucking obsessed and it's all they talk about. At the start of the week they dissect the newest episode as many times as possible and they spend the rest of the week speculating about the next one. It's driving me fucking insane. I've tried so hard to enjoy The Walking Dead and have endured friends telling me how well-made it is, how good the effects are, how brilliant the characters and storylines are, blah blah blah. I watched the first series: well some of the first series. I couldn't do it. I don't want to focus this rant on the quality of the show or the comic book because I'm really in no position. I'm here to admit to something a lot of us are thinking but not enough people are saying: I hate The Walking Dead because zombies are fucking boring.

Thursday, 5 March 2015

TBT - The Lego Movie (2014)

No matter how old I get, I will always love Lego. So much so, that when my family asked what I wanted for my birthday today it took all of my self-control to say anything other than Lego. I have a secret supply to bring out when I'm bored, I've been known to obsessively play every Lego video game that's ever been created and have wasted more hours than I'd care to admit dreamily going through the Lego website wishing I could afford it all. So yeah, I fucking love Lego. However, when I first watched The Lego Movie last year I wasn't that impressed. Yes, it was funny and really well made and I had that fucking song stuck in my head for months afterwards... I just thought something was missing. So, when I discovered the DVD on offer with free Vitruvius minifig I felt I owed it to myself to give it another try.

Monday, 2 March 2015

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

There are plenty of films that I get excited about but am too embarrassed to admit to. No matter how much I try and hide it, I'll always have the soul of a 12 year old boy. The bottom line is that swords, guns and explosions are fucking awesome and if your film trailer is full of them then I'm gonna want to see it. It's led to a lot of misguided film experiences and is the main reason that I don't completely hate Michael Bay's Transformers films. Upon first seeing the trailer for Matthew Vaughn's Kingsman: The Secret Service, I knew it was the kind of film I wanted to see but without anyone finding out about it.